You Gotta Have Faith
Tanya Norton
Faith: the proof of what we do not see (Heb. 11:1). As a self-proclaimed "realist", I have a hard time with the things I cannot see. Mike and I have joked for years that I do not see the glass as either half-full or half-empty, but that there really is no glass at all. I have been struggling for a couple of weeks now with seeing the unseen. Two weeks ago, Mike asked me about the possibility of him quitting his part-time job so he could focus more on ministry and the church-plant we have started. After a very poor initial reaction on my part, I asked him to give me a week to pray about it. Two weeks later, I was still undecided.

After being in the ministry with Mike for almost 20 years, my first reaction should have been-"Of course, Dear! God has called you to the ministry, has opened the doors for this church-plant, and has always taken care of us in the past." But instead, my thoughts centered around losing the part of our income that his job provides. Now, mind you, it is not a lot of money, but it is about a quarter of our total income. In today's economy, it seems rather foolish to give up a job. My other reservation about him quitting was my fear of having to explain this seeming foolishness to family and friends, many of whom will not understand.

Do you see how all my concerns were about me. My trust for my financial safety was centered on what we could provide, not what God can do. I was more afraid of what others may think than what God thinks. I have been reading through the Bible since January. As I was thinking about what God would want, He kept bringing to mind all the people in Genesis, Exodus, Luke and Acts who were asked by Him to do the seemingly foolish things-leave family and home for an unknown land, sacrifice your only son, tell Pharoah to free your people, journey through a desert, leave your careers to follow me, take the Gospel to the Gentiles. I think you get the point that I was trying to ignore...God's plan often seems foolish if seen through human eyes.

To make a long story a little shorter, I listened to God's prodding and gave Mike my blessing to quit his job. He put in his 2-week notice yesterday. Am I still struggling some with my fears? Truthfully, yes. But I know that God has always provided for us in the past, sometimes in miraculous ways, and I know firsthand the results of refusing to do God's bidding and the heartache that results. And so begins yet another balloon ride of faith in our lives....someday I will have to share the meaning behind that analogy, but for now I think I will just enjoy the ride.
Labels: , , , 0 comments | edit post
Happy New Year?
Tanya Norton
As I lay in bed last night, listening to the dogs go nuts over the fireworks and gun shots, I thought about the meaning of the day. New Year's Eve was always special to me as a kid because it was the one night we were allowed to stay up all night. When Mike and I were dating and first married, it took on the romantic aspect. After 19 years of marriage and 2 kids with birthdays the first week of January, I think I have officially turned into an old fuddy-duddy ( a phrase that Bethany thinks is the funniest ever!). I just don't get excited over the new year anymore.

Today, the first day of 2010 is no different than yesterday, the last day of 2009. It is only 24 hours later. I know that many see the new year as a time to reflect on the past, put the problems of the last year behind them, and make plans and goals for the coming year. There is nothing wrong with any of these things. In fact they are all necessary to our spiritual and emotional health. However, it seems to me that we should be doing all of this more frequently than once a year. The last year brought with it both some very difficult and trying times for us and some times of great blessing. Rather than wait for the end of the year to put the difficult times behind us and move on, we should do that as soon as the difficulties improve. We should thank God for the blessings during the blessings (or as soon as we realize that they were blessings for those hidden blessings), not wait until the end of the calendar year. As for plans and goals, we should always be evaluating and revising them as needed. Each new day brings the opportunity for change, if not in our circumstances, in our attitudes about them. We do not have to wait for the calendar year to end to make positive changes in our lives. ( I told you I was a fuddy-duddy about the new year. :) )

All that being said, I am looking forward to this coming year with hopeful anticipation. God is doing some great things with our church plant, Redeemed Point. We have been averaging 30-35 people attending, both in person and online, each Tuesday evening. Despite some technical difficulties, the message has been proclaimed and God's name has been praised! It amazes me how God blesses his work even when we are working on a budget of $0. If nothing else comes from the work, God has used it to reaffirm his call on Mike and renew Mike's sense of purpose. I have watched a slow but sure transformation from a broken man who doubted everything about himself and his life to a man whom God is healing and who sees his purpose again.

As we continue into this year, my prayer for us all is that we take each day to thank God for his blessings, put the rotten things in the garbage bin of our lives, and make sure that we are setting God-sized, God-inspired goals and plans.
0 comments | edit post
Life-goals???
Tanya Norton
Do you ever get those ideas that just stick in your brain and refuse to go away? I just finished reading Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson. It is definitely a book to challenge your way of thinking. In the next to last chapter, he challenges his readers to make a list of their life-goals. He uses Proverbs 29:18 to help make his point that we need to set God-sized, God-inspired goals for all areas of our lives. I have been mulling this over in my mind for several days now. Do I have life-goals or am I just taking it as it comes. Am I living or surviving?

I have never been a big fan of making a list of goals just so you can cross them off as you complete them. That has always seemed rather self-absorbed to me. However, I have been thinking of what my goals would be if I did list them out...not to cross them off, but to have them there to keep me focused. I spend so much time making sure Mike and the girls are reaching their goals (or what I see as the goals they need to have), my students are making their learning goals, and taking care of others, that I think I have lost sight of me. I forget to set goals for myself other than those that are required in my job. What are my long-term goals?

I think I will take Mark Batterson's challenge and make a list of my life-goals. It might take me a little while and a lot of thought and prayer, but I think I will be better for it in the end. Can my first goal be to make a list of my goals???
0 comments | edit post
Feeling Like Hannah
Tanya Norton
I knew it had been a long time since I have posted anything, but I just now realized it has been over 2 months. I guess I'm not too good at this blogging thing. Probably the same reason I never managed to keep a diary for more than a couple of weeks. Life has been pretty hectic the last couple of months. School started, we moved out of our rental and back in with my parents, Bethany left home for college and Rachel started 7th grade. Mike is now working about 30-35 hrs. per week at Sam's Club. It seems that we are seldom home at the same time anymore, and when we are, I am working on school stuff or we are both exhausted. Getting older stinks!

Speaking of getting older, we took Bethany down to college just before Labor Day weekend. I clearly remember sitting in the high school gym for her freshman orientation thinking, "I am not old enough to have a child in high school." (Technically, I wasn't because she was a grade ahead of where she should have been.) That seems like it was just yesterday, but here we were at college freshman orientation thinking the same thing. Yes, I cried like a baby when we left her in the gym at CBU and drove off campus, but not for the reason you might expect. I have a perfect peace about her being at college 500 miles from home. My tears were not tears of sadness or fear, but tears of joy and wonder at the awesome work God has done, is doing and will continue to do in her. As we sat in the gym and prayed over our children, the image that was forefront in my mind was of standing in front of God and our church family, dedicating our infant to God. We have always had the attitude that our girls are not ours, but on loan from God. To see the woman that God has created from that tiny infant fills my heart with pride and joy and my eyes with tears. As we pulled out of the parking lot, I turned to Mike and said, "At least we got to have her for 17 years instead of the 3 that Hannah was given with Samuel." I know that she is right where God has placed her, and that she is doing His work.

As for Rachel, well, I keep reminding myself that we survived the early teens once...we can do it again. :) Just kidding, Sweetheart! (kind of) In reality, I am enjoying watching Rachel start to become a young lady. She is maturing so fast and has such an empathetic heart! I know that God has great plans for her, and I can't wait to see them come to pass!

This post was way past due! Maybe I will write again before another 2 months passes us by. Until then, remember to love your children for the stage they are in and enjoy every moment of every day with them. Those moments and days pass too quickly!
1 comments | edit post
Stress, stress, stress...
Tanya Norton
Okay, so the subtitle of this blog refers to balancing all the areas of my life.  I don't think I'm doing such a good job of that right now.  I have spent a good part of the summer cleaning out and organizing my new classroom.  Since the last teacher left in the middle of the year (leaving lots of stuff behind) and the room has been used as storage for the past year, this has been a pretty big job.  It still is not decorated and I am quickly running out of time...class starts in just a couple of weeks.  In addition to the room, I am still getting acquainted with new curriculum, new school staff, and new school procedures.  The pressure is definitely mounting!  Fears of failure, based on some of my weaknesses from the last time I taught full-time are also beginning to creep in.

Next week, I am teaching the preschool class of Vacation Bible School for the children in our local Migrant Workers' Camp.  I will have children ranging from just walking through kindergarten age.  Many of the little ones only speak Spanish.  We have VBS under a big tent in an open field, so many of the published activities just will not work.  It is a matter of picking and choosing, adjusting for multiple ages, and making up some of my own stuff.  Needless to say, this has been a big job.  I am having a lot of trouble motivating myself to get the work done.  I love teaching children and this ministry is wonderful, but I am finding myself dreading it rather than looking forward to it.  I know I can't go on Monday to teach these dear ones with this attitude.  If I had known that I would get a teaching job this year, I would not have volunteered because it is a lot of work just before school starts.  My lack of excitement is making me feel even worse, because I know it is a poor attitude when going to do God's work.

Some people get energized when they are feeling under the gun.  Unfortunately, I am just the opposite.  I tend to shut down when my stress level goes over the top.  So, instead of working on the VBS stuff that is sitting on my kitchen table, I am blogging about it. :-) If any of you have any really good tips on dealing with stress in a positive way, please send them my way.  And if you would pray for my attitude about VBS this week, I would greatly appreciate it.  Thanks!
0 comments | edit post
Life Stages
Tanya Norton
At my baby shower for Bethany, the guests made me an advice book by each writing her best child-rearing advice.  My mom gave me the best advice of all.  She wrote that I should enjoy every stage of my child's life because each is special and goes by too quickly.  Seventeen years ago, as I was looking at my newborn daughter, I couldn't imagine that it would pass as quickly as Mom said it would.  Making plans to take Bethany to college in a month, I now believe her!

This weekend, I had the privilege of babysitting an almost 2 year old while her mom was delivering her baby brother.  It really seems like just yesterday that my girls were that little.  Although I am dog-tired after only two days, I enjoyed having a toddler around again.  It reminded me why I enjoyed that stage of life so much.  I really love the sense of wonder and amazement at even the simplest things of life that a toddler has.  I was also reminded of my mom's advice.  Even though really enjoyed Reya, I am definitely past the stage of little ones.  I enjoy my teenage daughters immensely!  

Since I wanted 4 children, it took me a long time to accept God's plan of only 2 girls for us.  I can definitely say that I am now completely fine with not having any more babies of my own.  Now is the time for me to enjoy nephews, nieces and my friends' children.  In a few years (at least 5, Bethany), I will be more than ready for grandchildren.  Do I feel old enough to be a grandma?  NO!  Am I ready to enjoy grandchildren?  Absolutely!  Until then, I will enjoy helping my friends out with their little ones and fully enjoy the life stages of my own daughters.  Bring on the teenage and young adult issues.  I can handle them since I survived toddlerhood! 
0 comments | edit post
Eeyore's Cloudy Day
Tanya Norton
Of all the Winnie the Pooh characters, Eeyore and Tigger are my favorites.  Tigger is who I would love to be.  Ironically, I gave birth to a Tigger.  Eeyore is who I am.  Some days are better than others, but my primary personality is that of Tigger.  I know that some of you who know me are giving me that "I don't see that in you" look.  I know because I have seen it before when I have admitted to being an Eeyore.  Trust me, I am Eeyore on the inside.  I am just very good at hiding it from most people...not necessarily a good thing.

Well, today was a major Eeyore day.  After the wonderful blessing of Mike getting a job yesterday, I realized that I had a bill due today that was $200 more than what I had.  Add to this the nearly empty cupboards/fridge, upcoming church youth camping trip for which Rachel needed money and the knowledge that although we both now have jobs, we won't be getting any paychecks until the end of Aug. for me and unknown timeframe for Mike.  Needless to say, I did not wake up in the best of moods.

For my daily devotions, I have been reading through Psalms.  Today's selections all were praises to God for his goodness and protection.  I hate to admit it, but my attitude after reading was not one of praise, but one of self-pity.  "God, if you are so good, why is my life so crummy right now.  Why are you not providing for my needs?"  Now remember, Mike just got a job yesterday and I was hired as a teacher last month.  Was I seeing the whole picture?  Of course not!  However, like I said, I tend to be Eeyore...always seeing the cloud above me.  To be honest, what I was looking for was a miraculous rescue from my financial troubles. But that was not God's plan for me for today.  He had something better and more lasting for me.

God did provide the money I needed for the bill and a few groceries, just not the way I wanted.   I had to put aside my pride once again and ask for a loan.  Of course the money was available and given in love and grace, but it was hard for me to see it as God-given.  After a highly unproductive day of sitting under my cloud, feeling sorry for myself, I decided to take a long, hot bath.  I decided to read a book a started a while ago, but never finished.  I almost started where I had left off, but since it had been so long, I decided to begin it again.  Long story short, through the life of Sarah, I was reminded that God always keeps his promises, even when we have to wait for them.  Sarah's faith (so great to land her in the Hebrews 11 "Hall of Faith") was developed through the difficult times of her life.  Rather than bemoaning the trials of life and times of waiting on God, I should be looking forwards to the promises of the future.

Added to the lessons of Sarah, a friend posted the following on her Facebook status today.

  "Faith's most severe test come not when we see nothing, but when we see a stunning array of evidence that seems to prove our faith in vain. If God were God, if he were omnipotent, if He cared, would this have happened?" -Elizabeth Eliot "These Strange Ashes" 

Okay, God, I think I am beginning to get the picture. You are providing.  Perhaps not in the way I want, but providing in wonderful ways.  You have NEVER failed to keep your promises.  Did I take giant step of faith today?  No.  Perhaps I took a very small baby step.  Will I have to learn this lesson again?  Probably.  Perhaps this is what Paul was referring to when he urged the Philippian Christians to continue to work out their salvation. (Philippians 2:12)  Baby steps forward and big steps back is definitely hard work!

I do not share this story to get sympathy.  Yes, today has been tough.  Yes, the last year has been horrible.  But it is not your sympathy that I am looking for.  I know that I am not the only one who struggles with these issues of faith.  I am not the only one who fails to see the ways God is providing because I am focusing on how I want him to provide.  I share this to let you know that I am right there with you...growing my faith baby step by baby step, sometimes taking big steps backwards, and learning that it is through adversity that God teaches us.  Perhaps some day I will learn to be more like Tigger, taking life as it comes and always seeing the best in all situations.  Until then, I will keep working and try to remember that within that cloud is the rainbow of God's promises.
0 comments | edit post