Do you ever get those ideas that just stick in your brain and refuse to go away? I just finished reading Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson. It is definitely a book to challenge your way of thinking. In the next to last chapter, he challenges his readers to make a list of their life-goals. He uses Proverbs 29:18 to help make his point that we need to set God-sized, God-inspired goals for all areas of our lives. I have been mulling this over in my mind for several days now. Do I have life-goals or am I just taking it as it comes. Am I living or surviving?

I knew it had been a long time since I have posted anything, but I just now realized it has been over 2 months. I guess I'm not too good at this blogging thing. Probably the same reason I never managed to keep a diary for more than a couple of weeks. Life has been pretty hectic the last couple of months. School started, we moved out of our rental and back in with my parents, Bethany left home for college and Rachel started 7th grade. Mike is now working about 30-35 hrs. per week at Sam's Club. It seems that we are seldom home at the same time anymore, and when we are, I am working on school stuff or we are both exhausted. Getting older stinks!

Speaking of getting older, we took Bethany down to college just before Labor Day weekend. I clearly remember sitting in the high school gym for her freshman orientation thinking, "I am not old enough to have a child in high school." (Technically, I wasn't because she was a grade ahead of where she should have been.) That seems like it was just yesterday, but here we were at college freshman orientation thinking the same thing. Yes, I cried like a baby when we left her in the gym at CBU and drove off campus, but not for the reason you might expect. I have a perfect peace about her being at college 500 miles from home. My tears were not tears of sadness or fear, but tears of joy and wonder at the awesome work God has done, is doing and will continue to do in her. As we sat in the gym and prayed over our children, the image that was forefront in my mind was of standing in front of God and our church family, dedicating our infant to God. We have always had the attitude that our girls are not ours, but on loan from God. To see the woman that God has created from that tiny infant fills my heart with pride and joy and my eyes with tears. As we pulled out of the parking lot, I turned to Mike and said, "At least we got to have her for 17 years instead of the 3 that Hannah was given with Samuel." I know that she is right where God has placed her, and that she is doing His work.

As for Rachel, well, I keep reminding myself that we survived the early teens once...we can do it again. :) Just kidding, Sweetheart! (kind of) In reality, I am enjoying watching Rachel start to become a young lady. She is maturing so fast and has such an empathetic heart! I know that God has great plans for her, and I can't wait to see them come to pass!

This post was way past due! Maybe I will write again before another 2 months passes us by. Until then, remember to love your children for the stage they are in and enjoy every moment of every day with them. Those moments and days pass too quickly!

Okay, so the subtitle of this blog refers to balancing all the areas of my life.  I don't think I'm doing such a good job of that right now.  I have spent a good part of the summer cleaning out and organizing my new classroom.  Since the last teacher left in the middle of the year (leaving lots of stuff behind) and the room has been used as storage for the past year, this has been a pretty big job.  It still is not decorated and I am quickly running out of time...class starts in just a couple of weeks.  In addition to the room, I am still getting acquainted with new curriculum, new school staff, and new school procedures.  The pressure is definitely mounting!  Fears of failure, based on some of my weaknesses from the last time I taught full-time are also beginning to creep in.

At my baby shower for Bethany, the guests made me an advice book by each writing her best child-rearing advice.  My mom gave me the best advice of all.  She wrote that I should enjoy every stage of my child's life because each is special and goes by too quickly.  Seventeen years ago, as I was looking at my newborn daughter, I couldn't imagine that it would pass as quickly as Mom said it would.  Making plans to take Bethany to college in a month, I now believe her!

Of all the Winnie the Pooh characters, Eeyore and Tigger are my favorites.  Tigger is who I would love to be.  Ironically, I gave birth to a Tigger.  Eeyore is who I am.  Some days are better than others, but my primary personality is that of Tigger.  I know that some of you who know me are giving me that "I don't see that in you" look.  I know because I have seen it before when I have admitted to being an Eeyore.  Trust me, I am Eeyore on the inside.  I am just very good at hiding it from most people...not necessarily a good thing.

Sometimes God speaks to me in very unusual ways.  During my devotions this morning, my lesson came not from the Scriptures I was reading, but from my dog, Faith.  In order to fully understand, you would need to know this dog.  She is not necessarily the smartest dog on the planet, but she is the most loving, loyal dog you will ever encounter.  Faith lives to be loved! 

When possible, I love to do my devotions outside.  My back porch is one of the most peaceful places I can find.  As usual this morning, Faith was right there by my side.  Well, actually, she was right there trying to climb up into my lap!  A 60 lb. dog in your lap does not leave much room for a Bible, so I encouraged her to sit by my side instead where I could pet her while I read.  This satisfied her as long as I kept my hand on her head and rubbed it periodically.

As I was reading, God kept bringing Faith into my thoughts. (That, and she would nudge me every time I stopped petting her head.) She is totally devoted to me and wants nothing more than to spend time in my presence.  Isn’t this how we should be with God?  So often, I let the busyness of my day interfere with my time with the Lord.  “Too much stuff to do this morning.  I will do my devotions later.” (And does that later ever come?)  I get the picture, God.  I need to have the love and devotion of Faith, desiring nothing more than to spend every moment with You.

Have you ever felt like you were just wandering around in life, without a plan, purpose or direction?  That is what the last year has felt like for me.  After finding out that my teaching contract would not be renewed for the following year and my husband's resignation from the church a month later, I found myself on an emotional, spiritual roller coaster ride.  I have spent the last year just existing, not living.